Change

So I had one of those deep moments today.  Well, that's the spin I'm putting on it because it sounds fancier than the reality of sleep deprived, brain dead daydreaming.  Anywho... as I was raking the plethora of never sitting still leaves in my backyard that seemed to be growing as I was raking, I was contemplating something my papa had laid on me several times in my life.  "The only things guaranteed in life are death and taxes."  There were other magnificent ones that were regulars in his circulatory advice like, "Never look up with your mouth open..." But the guarantee one was floating around in the void that is my mommy brain today.  And it dawned on me that if I had the opportunity again, which I so desperately wish I did, I would have playfully challenged his statement.  I think he left one out.  The only things guaranteed are death, tax, and change.  Everything changes.  You know all that glitters is gold and stuff...  As I desperately tried to get my two "helpers" to keep the piles of leaves I had collected in their proper receptacles instead of dumping them once they were full, watching the wind spread them out again and taking turns climbing in and letting the other roll them around, I realized how much they have changed.

 Not even big picture stuff, but just since yesterday!  All of a sudden Marcella has a neck and is out talking Adelyn.  Adelyn is using my own logic against me and wants nail polish for Christmas rather than Little People.  Elsie has already been in this world for five months and is more than twice her original weight... You get it.  That pan out sappy mom moment.  But wait for it... I take it further.  Look how much Jason and I have changed.  Seven moves and three kids in four years, two states, buying a house, a lot of weight gained/lost and gained and lost again,  loss,  career changes, desire changes, priority changes.  You get it.  All of a sudden I was really sad.  I don't like all the change.  I want this moment to freeze in time no matter how much it is driving me crazy.  I put the girls down for their nap defeated.  They are growing faster than I could have ever imagined and I just want the world to stand still.  But then like a kick in the pants, Adelyn wakes up from her usual two hour nap after just an hour.  Yuck, change!   I, defeated, walk down to get her and she sits up and says, "Mommy?  I just couldn't sleep any more cause I was thinking about your feet."  "Um, ok...?"  "Yeah Mom.  Your toes need to be painted and my hands and feet need it too."  So, I bite and we go up stairs just her and I, which doesn't happen very often, and pick out some nail polish.  As I was sitting on my bedroom floor, conversing with my three year old going on 15, I realize how much I kind of like this change.  I was surprised how many firm opinions she had about my hands and feet,  how the color we were picking out needed to be a color that Daddy would like so I could be pretty for him, how it was imperative that I put "toppings" or to the lay person "a top coat" on once they were dry.

I sat and really listened to her, which let's cut the bs and admit that we all have learned to a degree to tune out a large majority of what our toddlers are rambling on about, and I was thoroughly enjoying what she was saying.  Now I was tearing up about how happy I was that I was around to see these changes.  I was feeling an overwhelming urge to hug my baby and never let go, but as I did a "change" slapped me back into reality.  I couldn't hug her anymore while her nails were drying... :)